Sunday, July 17, 2011

What Makes a Marriage Last Forever?

There are countless magazines and online quiz sites that will ask you 10-20 questions, and present generalized results on how you scored. But what they forgot to take into consideration is that marriage is neither a game, nor can it be determined based on few questions. Marriage is a journey which a couple takes together without making any demands or putting restraints.

 Remember... Arguments will Arise 
Every married couple has fights, but that doesn't mean it is time to call it quits. It isn't about how many times you had an argument or disagreement over some things. What matters the most is how you get out of them, clear the air, and move past it. Many a times, we find ourselves arguing about the same issues over and over again. This happens because your disagreements haven't been addressed and you still harbor unresolved issues. When there is pent up frustration, and you feel that your needs or wants aren't being addressed, you tend to lash out when an argument arises; regardless of what you're discussing. What you, as a couple, need to focus on is how the arguments are being handled. You might lose temper for a while, say things you didn't want to, and hurt each other's feelings. As these occurrences are common, you can communicate them and try to understand what each of you want when such a situation arises.

 Marriage is a Two Way Street 
Every individual is entitled to his/her opinions, beliefs, and choice of living. Our qualities, flaws, desires, likes, dislikes, and attributes is what makes us unique; special. These are the very same reasons why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place and that is what is going to give you the drive to live a long, happy married life with one another. One of the ways to make your marriage last is to understand that you two are in this together and a marriage only works when both of you are willing to make it work. Imagine that you two are handcuffed together and you are supposed to reach a particular destination. Now if one of those persons is lagging behind, and isn't pushing towards reaching that goal, then it's not a joint effort. Alright, maybe the illustration isn't all that great, but you know what I mean.

 Always Know Who Your Spouse Is 
What I mean to say here is that many a times, during or after a fight or an argument, you may temporarily forget what attracted us to your spouse in the first place. This is very natural as in the heat of the moment, everything else gets disoriented. Which is why, when you have calmed yourself down, what you need to focus on are the things that attracted you to them. There are going to be millions of little things that occur each day, and they can get on your nerves. The more important thing is that you don't misunderstand your spouse, the love of your life, and think that they are someone else. Once the heat of an argument has died down, you can calmly talk to one another and figure things out. Don't forget the love and bond between you two.

 Keep the Romance Alive 
This may sound like a cliché, but it works. Many couples have noticed that when romance dies in their relationship, so does the old attraction. It may be difficult to be romantic and unpredictable everyday, but we're not talking about doing that. There are hundreds of responsibilities in our lives and sometimes, finding time alone with your spouse could be tough. But this is where your imagination comes in. A sensual kiss on her neck while she's doing the dishes, hugging him when he's deciding what to wear for work in the morning, and a candlelight dinner when the kids are sleeping. All these things can bring a couple together, more close than they think. And of course, you have major occasions like birthdays, anniversary, Valentine's day, and other holidays to be creative.

These are just some of the things to make your marriage last forever. No couple, without investing themselves wholeheartedly can expect to have a loving, lasting relationship. Each day comes as a challenge, and both of you have to take it as they come. In the end, what's left is your undying love for one another. And when you think about it, what more does anyone want than to be loved and cared for.

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